SACRIFICIAL LOVE

I was a young mother, I was 20 when I married, had Mika at 21.

The circumstances under which I got married was quite complicated. But one thing is for sure, I was not ready when I took on the commitment I made.

It has been a struggle from the first day I came to America. My husband was a 23-yr-old new college graduate who was also overwhelmed with the responsibility of becoming a husband and father. We were young, scared and intimidated.

Having Mika has been the greatest joy of my life. Truly, I got married so I could have a child ( I had serious reproductive issues). It was possible for me not to get pregnant, so we believe she was a miracle child.

At the same time though, being young when I took on the responsibilities, I felt and still feel like I missed out on a lot of things.

I gave up a lot of possibilities, I gave up my youth so I could love and nurture a child.

There are times when I feel like I am not being a good mom. Sometimes, I get irritable when I'm tired and I can't rest. I get mad when I don't have private time. I become unhappy when I have to forgo and let go of many things for the sake of my child. I feel deeply insecure when I see the ravages of motherhood on my body.

But any good, loving mother would give up even their life for their children.

I am not an extremely maternal, martyr kind of mom who smothers her child. I see myself more as a disciplinarian, no-nonsense mom, but I shower her with so much affection and praise. I ensure that all her needs are met but I am not a spoiler. I guess that's due to being raised by a single mom.

I sacrificed everything, all the dreams and hopes of my youth to have and to love my child. I believe it's all worth it.

One thing is for sure, my sacrifices will never compare to the sacrifice of the Lord for me. When I think of his love it puts everything into perspective. And it reminds me draw my strength from him.